Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Calendar Battle: January

Amber Chia VS Kathy Chow

The judging system:

First of all, do not choose the winner based on her history or her other photographs. In other words, judge only by the photo selected (which is the last picture of this entry).

Other than that, there are just two types of criteria:
1. Photo style: Creativity of the photo, Colours, etc. 10points max.
2. Looks & pose: 1st impressions, clothing choice, appearance that might stimulate you and such. 10 points max.
Overall would be 20 points (Criteria 1 + 2).

Oh, btw this is strictly my point of view. If you don't like my taste then too bad, but don't go blasting me about why my taste sucks.

Alrighty? Good. Proceed to either read their biographies or use Ctrl-F, type ‘---‘ and click ‘Ok’ twice to jump to the battle.

Amber Chia:-



Currently Malaysia’s top international model, Amber Chia is no doubt a really hot babe! Born in Ipoh and raise in a small village in Tawau, Sabah, this ‘kampung girl’ first grabbed the model industry’s attention after a local fashion brand shot in Bangkok (All Malaysia.info). From there on, the 24-year-old featured in magazine covers such as Her World, VMAG and FHM, as well as printed works the likes of Sony, Celcom and Diamond & Platinum.



Her endorsement doesn’t stop there as she is quite a regular in TV ads like Sony, Celcom and RC Cola. The 174cm tall Chia will be in the upcoming movie Possessed (directed by Bjarne Wong) alongside Korea’s transsexual starlet Harisu.



Her lips are definitely her sexiest part of her facial looks don’t you think so? Truly, ‘All about the Timeless Beauty’...but how does she fare against her rival?


Kathy Chow:-



Ok, this is Kathy Chow as in Kathy Chow Man Kei, not the more popular Kathy Chow Hoi-Mei. Not much I can research about her profile, just that she’s in the Hong Kong movie ‘Luen Ching Go Gup’ (Love on the Rocks, 2004 starring Louis Koo and Gigi Leung). The Hong Kong born Kathy is also a model, in fact at the same height of 174cm as Amber Chia. She has a younger sister which is actress Niki Chow (of the Feel 100% II and Fighting for Love fame).Kathy Chow is born on 20 May 1974.



I like her eyes…but can that be enough to beat Amber?

---

Ready? Here we go!



Amber Chia:
Ah, an interesting photo style…bamboos as the background and green as the colour theme. However…Amber somehow doesn’t look good! Her make-up especially doesn’t make her look sexy one bit. In fact, with that make-up she looked sick and pale instead. Despite her ‘come-get-me-I’m-horny’ pose, her clothes aren’t sexy enough either. Nor is her flatten-looking small breasts.

Photo Style: 6/10
Looks & Pose: 3/10

Kathy Chow:
Sigh, what a dull photo style…grey background just isn’t something I can appreciate at all. Kathy however…ouhh, excellent! Posing like Superman and the oh-so-arousing red underwear, she certainly knows how to make men imagining perverted stuff. At least I and my brother (both meanings if you get what I mean) are quickly becoming her fans. She looks intimidating, but I guess that’s to go with the Superman pose. A small amount of wind to blow her hair is also a plus for me.

Photo Style: 3/10
Looks & Pose: 9/10

Overall:-
Amber Chia disappointingly finished at 9/20 while Kathy is at 12/20. Sorry Amber, I like you and you could have won it with other photos, but of all the photos you allow FHM to publish you chose that photo. If that’s not the case then blame FHM for selecting such photo. Meanwhile, I think I should watch that Love on the Rocks show again and see Kathy Chow.


References:-
All Malaysia.info (http://allmalaysia.info/news/story.asp?file=/2004/2/25/people/7346876&sec=mi_people)
Amber Chia Official Website (www.amberchia.com)
Harisu International Fan Page (
http://www.cliphoto.com/social/harisu.htm)
Hong Kong Cinema: View from the Brooklyn Bridge (http://www.brns.com/hkactors/pages/page29.html & http://www.brns.com/pages4/comed180.html)
IMDB (http://poll.imdb.com/name/nm1689551/)
Kenny Sia (http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2006/01/star-studded_sa.php)
My Dream Kathy (fansite) (http://kathy.mfhk.com/profile.htm)

Sunday, January 29, 2006

GONG XI FA CHAI

Hey you guys, just wishing everyone of you a Happy Chinese New Year!

My area is pretty much like a warzone between midnight to 20 minutes later...fireworks from left, right and front man! How was your midnight?

Anyway, have a good Doggie year and erm...ang pao na lai?

Friday, January 27, 2006

“Calendar Battle”: The Preview

I better post this up before January ends. Haha, that’s how lazy I’ve become.

For the past three years I’ve always brought the FHM magazine, not really for the articles that please the male readers but for their famous calendar issue in December. Sorry, I correct myself; December is the only time I buy the magazine.

Guys aren’t different from girls when it comes to putting up pictures of their favourite celebrities (usually the opposite gender btw). Hence I’ve the right to talk about how hot this babe is and how gay Westlife is don’t I?

Anyway, last month I brought the FHM magazine Malaysia edition as usual (RM14 in East Malaysia…damn it!).


Pussycat Dolls nice to look meh? Look at #2 & #6 from left.

I'm satisfied that the articles have improved, though the Nautica™ brochure wasn’t useful for me. They even gave out a sample of Romanometro EDT perfume for us. Haha…too strong for my liking though.


In case you're asking, that's Chong Ee Ling.

A week later, I discovered this magazine:


Dunia Ajaib?

Now, you might be asking this: - Do I know how to read Chinese?

…no, I don’t. So yes, it was pointless for me to buy this Mysterious World magazine (RM7.50). Judging by their English headlines like ‘Miss Playboy TV 2005’ and ‘AV Look’ though…I bet the articles are much more interesting than FHM Malaysia edition.

I checked the pictures inside the magazine. Fuck, I regret not knowing how to read Chinese for this matter. (Yea, picture says a thousand words…but it doesn’t mention her name does it?)


Can anyone read what it says? :(

The quality of the mag isn’t as great as FHM though. You get lots of black and white newspaper-like pages…but thankfully they’re smart enough to put colour on the more ‘important’ pages. The magazine provided a Horoscope booklet as well…but nothing much really.

Alright, enough review on the magazines. Like FHM, I brought Mysterious World for their calendar. Honestly though, I’ve never heard of the magazine before…even if it’s already issue #456 and it’s a weekly mag. [Correct me if I’m wrong]

Here’s the photo of the calendars.



As you can see, FHM’s calendar is slightly bigger than the Mysterious World’s (shorten to MW) calendar. The quality of FHM’s is better too compared to MW’s. FHM even has Samsung® to sponsor the calendar, just like Johnnie Walker® and Carlsberg® had for the previous two calendars. MW’s calendar on the other hand had the more interesting title; would you like a “Girlfriend of The Month” more than nothing?


The participants. Can you name them all?

At the back, MW added the names of the “girlfriends” in addition to putting up their facial photos. FHM merely lines up the facial photos of their selection.


12-in-1 or 1 big one?

The middle page of the calendar is unique to the calendars. For the lazy people, FHM placed the 12 photos and the calendar itself into a page. Meanwhile, MW goes for longevity and placed a poster in the middle. It’s up to you to decide which is better, but I’ve a feeling perverts would make full advantage of the hole at the bottom of Yuko Ogura’s undies though…or MW purposely chose that photo for that matter?

It would be unfair to compare the magazines in general since I can’t read Chinese for shit. However, over the next 12 months I, along with you readers should make a comparison with the calendars.


Who will win?

Let the Calendar Battle begin!

Text ref:-
Carlsberg (www.carlsberg.com)
FHM (www.fhm.com)
Johnnie Walker (www.johnniewalker.com)
Nautica (http://www.nautica.com/)
Romano (http://www.unza.com/brands/detailbrands.asp?brid=5)
Samsung (www.samsung.com)
Westlife @ G-A-Y (http://www.first-web.co.uk/richardb/westlife.htm)

Friday, January 20, 2006

The Greatest Idea McDonalds™ has ever had for Advertising!

Firstly, I hate McDonald’s™ (McD’s in short, or Maccas for you Aussie readers). I got sick of eating their burgers since I was 15…not to mention their ever decreasing burger sizes and their ever increasing price rates for it. Besides, why pay for some horny-looking, red-headed clown when burgers like Ramlee burger or even Burger King/Hungry Jacks make tastier burgers / bigger sizes.

I knew it! Ronald McDonald is a fucking pervert!

There are some things I don’t mind about McDonald’s™ though. McD’s ice-cream is safe to eat and cheap. In Malaysia, the McD’s marketing personnel came up with the Prosperity Burger©, at a cost of a prosperous-sounding RM8.88 for medium size (includes curly fries and diluted orange juice). This Prosperity Burger© is seasonal; you can only get it when Chinese New Year is around the corner.



Also, if you want to win a girl’s heart or to keep that little brat to shut up, McD’s toys (sponsored or local) are surprising good to get.

Anyone recalled the Hello Kitty® & Dear Daniel® Wedding edition?



However, it was their strong and often creative advertising that got me to, well, tolerate and ‘enjoy’ that brand name till this day. Simple yet effective slogans like “I’m loving it” (2004) and “Good Time, Great Taste, That’s Why This Is My Place” (1988), and also their use of emotional appeal in their TV ads over the years truly cemented their reputation as the family fast-food brand.

Then they came out with one of the most genuine advertising placement of all time:



I saw this last week and I just can’t help it but to say: What. The. Fuck.


Longkang also they want!








Ok, so it was fake…but I bet this was an experiment by the McD’s marketing people!


I say the golden arch was first designed by a kid!

Watch out…McDonald’s™ are after your longkang too!


References:

Asiaweek.com (http://www.asiaweek.com/asiaweek/magazine/2000/0218/as.singapore.html)
Burger King (http://www.bk.com/)
Filthyhumor.com for the picture of Ronald McDonald.
Hungry Jacks (http://www.hungryjacks.com.au/Home.aspx)
Jaring.my (http://www.jaring.my/weblog/comments.php?id=4793)
McDonald’s (http://www.mcdonalds.com/)
McDonald’s Prosperity Burger (http://www.mcdonalds.com.my/highlights/pro.asp)
RGS.edu.sg’s Malay Glossary (http://www.rgs.edu.sg/student/cyberfair2001/glossary.html)
The Number Eight and The Chinese (http://afgen.com/china8.html)
Wikipedia:- The Free Encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McDonald's_TV_campaigns_and_slogans)

Monday, January 16, 2006

The Movie Review: King Kong (2005)


My Pet-Pet.

1st impressions: Woa, shit! That looks awesome man…and it’s a Peter Jackson movie! How can you go wrong with the man that brought you Lord of the Rings™ trilogy?? This has to be good…I mean, I only got to watch 7 seconds of King Kong in the original 1933 movie…and that was in a documentary.

Got the ticket. I can't wait to see it!


Round 1...FIGHT!




1 Hour.




2 Hours.




3 Hours.





After the movie: King Kong? My ‘King Kong’ nicer to see la!



Seriously, it sucks. Boo-urns!


Ok, ok, I’ll be a lil’ less bias.

So you see, this is how the story of the big-ass gorilla goes (like there was a story in the first place) as quoted by IMDB.com:



"Set in the 1930s, this is the story of a young and beautiful actress Ann
Darrow from the world of vaudeville who finds herself lost in depression-era New
York and her luck changes when she meets an over-ambitious filmmaker Carl Denham
who brings her on an exploratory expedition to a remote island where she finds
compassion and the true meaning of humanity with an ape Kong. The beauty and the
beast finally meet their fate back in the city of New York where the filmmaker
takes and displays the ape in quest of his fame by commercial exploitation which
ultimately leads to catastrophe for everyone including a playwright Jack
Driscoll who falls in love with Ann and plays an unlikely hero by trying to save
her from Kong and her destiny."

*Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t watch it then don’t bother watching, or if you insist, get the VCD/DVD from someone.*

I know Peter Jackson loves to make a bloody long movie…but with this kind of story how could he possibly make this movie 3 HOURS LONG? And King Kong only shows up like…an hour to the movie! So what’s on the 1st hour then? Ugh, lots and lots of Jack Black doing his best to save the movie from the start go! Oh, I’m quite disappointed with Naomi Watts’ and Adrien Brody’s acting. Not the worst, but it felt…flat.

I could go on and on about how bad this movie is, but I do want my sleep and I don’t want to delay this entry already. So I’ll give you my Top 10 W.T.Fs of King Kong 2005 edition:








10.) I don’t recall the movie explaining how the crew transferred the enormous beast to New York. Where did they put King Kong if that was the only ship to bring him to the big city? If not, if they called for help, how did help arrived? Wasn't Skull Island a secret island?

9.) The crew running away from the dinosaurs. That was just plain silly.

8.) Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) is a supergirl la. Got pulled forcefully by King Kong with her wrists tightly tied to the pillars, yet she don’t feel pain on her wrists. Either Naomi Watts is a bad actress, or she’s really that damn strong.

7.) How in the world did King Kong adapt to the environment of New York so fast?? He got use brain wan is it? No animal, especially tropical animals can adapt to the shivering winter so damn fast la! In fact, King Kong should be going really wild because of the unfamiliar territory…

6.) King Kong can 'skate' on ice! Coolness…but wait up; how heavy is he? Shouldn’t the ice break with that massive weight?

5.) If you’re driving a car and there’s a big-ass gorilla behind you, would you actually give your car to someone else?

4.) Amazing Ann Darrow did not EVEN passed out / puked / got sick when King Kong was holding her while raping the T-Rexes. Even more amazing was that she can survive the whole time in the forest without food. Women must surely envy her.

3.) Peter Jackson made us focus on the side characters like Jimmy (Jamie Bell) and his relationship with Hayes (Evan Parke), and also Captain Englehorn (Thomas Kretschmann). With the exception of Hayes, what happened to the side characters when King Kong’s in New York?? So much screentime for these guys and yet not even a moment at the Big Apple? Jeez…what’s the point in developing the story of these characters then?

2.) Ann Darrow runs around New York, wearing just the white dress during WINTER. Wow, her skin is made of what?.... REDONKULOUS!

1.) Ann Darrow goes through the whole damn forest and yet her face and body are left UNSCRATCHED! WTF…her skin is made of what?? Better than steel…even better than King Kong! Only when Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody) came to save her when King Kong was busy swatting the bats did she had a small scratch on her face. Sigh.


Yes, I clearly understand that this show was to be _illogical in the first place_, but I just can’t help but to feel annoyed that scenes that could have been logical became illogical. In his media release (i.e. newspapers), Peter Jackson did mentioned that the movie was to be as realistic as possible, but I guess he meant his graphics more than realism. Yes, the graphics are impressive, and so was the audio, but that still doesn’t justify paying RM10 and almost slept during the 3 hour movie. If he's following a lot like the original, then that's not very creative of he is he?

Maybe Peter Jackson chose the wrong type of King Kong. He should have directed this version instead:




Now THIS IS worth 3 hours.



Final score: 1 Pawn out of 5. Somehow people like this show though. So you do the judging.

Best Bit: King Kong ripping out the jaw of T-Rex, and the Empire State Building scene.

Game of 'Tag' goes extreme.

Worst Bit: Read the 10 W.T.Fs.

Naughty, naughty monkey.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Yamato in My Head (and below)

Ok, I’m having way too much exposure on the Yamato for the last week and hence I have to blog about it.

Wait up, what is a Yamato? Another variation of the line “Yamete”, notoriously overused in Japanese AV? A cuter type of tomato? Or just another way of saying Nia ma chow hai?

None above, really. It’s a ship. No, not a sampan, but a Battleship.


(The History of Battleship Yamato: - click the link, and do bother to read it!)

I have heard of the Yamato before when I was younger, but I only recalled the name when I had a look on my brother’s old photos. One photo featured his housemate posing as Dr. Evil (of the Austin Powers fame). Along with the pose, he held two things;

a picture of Dr. Evil


and (yeap, you guess it) a model of the Yamato (for it was his birthday pressie).

Heck, the actual photo is right below:

The next evil genius with his evil plan...

A couple of days after I’ve seen that photo, I was TV surfing when Discovery Channel mentioned that the documentary on the Yamato was next. My curiosity got the better of me.

No shit, that’s one BIG-ASS battleship man! As big as my lanciao man I dunno how big is ---862'10" x 121'1" x 32'11"--- but I will just imagine it as big as Subang Parade. People with excellent Maths please tell me the closest popular building in Malaysia that is as big as that dimension and I’ll change my imagination.

Hmm…if you cut every single penis available in Kuching, joined it all together to one big mofo penis, could it still be smaller than the Yamato? No offence, just a thought.

Anyway, several days later, I’ve found this on the Internet:

www.yamato-movie.jp/

OMG! There’s a movie for that ship??

I WANNA WATCH!

[Download the trailer here. 10MB only.]

Woa, Titanic meets Pearl Harbour. Thank God there’s no sign of Ben Affleck or Leonardo Dicaprio. Or both.

So popular was the Yamato Battleship to the Japanese culture that the Japs created an anime with the Yamato as the inspiration.

Anyone recalled Space Battleship Yamato?



Even the PC game ‘Starcraft’ had a bit of inspiration with the legendary battleship's fat-ass cannons.


In the game, the unit ‘Battlecruiser’ had a weapon that was simply called ‘Yamato Gun’.


Later on, I found out a little less known things about the Yamato, such as Yamato () actually means “the name of the country in ancient Japan from the 4th century to the 7th century” (www.h2.dion.ne.jp/~chimaki/nkq/yamato/what.htm).

I’m not the biggest fan of WWII history and stuff, but for the first time I actually like a WWII warship. The only thing sad with this ship is that it didn’t actually give the Imperial Japanese Navy any major success.

Hitting the Big-O? More like Big-U la!
Oh, I recalled a part on an interview with a Yamato survivor. He mentioned that the ship was so hardly involved in action the ship was nicknamed “Hotel Yamato” by the crew.

Anyway, there is no proper conclusion to this entry. Like I said earlier, I was constantly being informed about the Yamato last week.

Wait, there is a conclusion: Buy the model of the Yamato battleship and put it in a bathtub full of water. Make sure the cannons are aiming at the Rubber Duckie floating at some distance from the ship. Finally, take a good photo of the ‘scene’ and put it on your computer wallpaper. It might be disturbingly funny. Either that or I’m just being lame.

*My tribute to the crew of Yamato that lost their lives in battle to protect their homeland, even though the Japanese are part of the Axis back then.

(Next: The movie review on King Kong.Would the mighty gorilla fall from the Empire building with tears of happiness or tears of sadness?)

Text Reference:-
Naval Historical Centre (http://www.history.navy.mil/photos/sh-fornv/japan/japsh-xz/yamato-n.htm)
Nihon Kaigun: Imperial Japanese Navy Page (http://www.combinedfleet.com/yamato_c.htm)
Nikkuyu Club (http://www.h2.dion.ne.jp/~chimaki/nkq/yamato/what.htm)
Starship Schematics Database (http://www.shipschematics.net/yamato/)

Thanks to Google and all related websites for the pictures.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

The most beautiful poem ever.

A Tribute To Mike

Twas the night before New Year of two thousand six
Mike was planning to get stone drunk for kicks
He had a table at Soho, and cash in his hand,
He was ready to party with his merry band.

He was dressed to the nines and perfect was his hair,
Off he went to Soho to meet his friends there,
For all of his friends, he poured them a round,
Chivas and tequila, all that, he downed.

Both bottles was gone all within 1 hour,
It was then that for Mike it all went sour.
He was dancing around when his head became light,
Then it was obvious what he did wasn’t too bright.

He sat down besides an old man whose name I’ll omit,
And soon Mike was sick and then he had vomit.
Picking him up, I brought him to the bathroom,
In there his throwing up quickly resumed.

It was then I made a choice, which might not be right,
I chose to bring him home, bad idea in hindsight.
I tried to bring him to the car quite far away,
But soon I had to let him continue to spray.

After he puke he was still sitting down,
It didn’t take long before he was lying on the ground!
He was built like an elf but I was about to find out
Drunk people are heavy especially when they passed out.

I tried to haul him like how a fireman would carry,
But after two car length my legs turned to jelly,
I had to call for help and two mates came to the rescue,
We threw him in the car and noticed Mike lost his left shoe!

To the house we went in lightning quick speed,
Drag him and pull him to his room, we did!
When he awoken, I was told he had a real shock,
He saw he only had on his undies and his socks,

He then realized he was home, lying on his bed,
His head was hurting, a hangover he had.
He tried to remember for half an hour,
But he cannot recall, the shock! The horror!

Remember kids, like all good stories there’s a lesson in store
Be careful of your cravings you might get what you wish for.
Don’t wish for your self to be the one that is wasted,
Think of this story and how Mike suffered.
- Chris Cheng 2006

(Many thanks to Chris for taking the effort to erm, humiliate me further.)

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A Cinderella New Year

HAPPY (belated) NEW YEAR PEEPS!

Sorry la the launching entry is delayed. Can’t help it…I got my own life to run what.

I bet you guys had an awesome time, counting down for the New Year, drinking, laughing, fucking and such.

As for me, well, I didn’t celebrate. Not even celebrated the countdown. Hmm? What the hell is wrong with me you say? Ok la, I did celebrate la….

…sort of la.

(To skip this intro, press Ctrl-F then type “---“)

Ok, enough chatter. This was the plan. My group and I are to celebrate the New Year at SOHO, a popular pub in Kuching. I’m the host for the night, and my scheme was to get several of my friends drunk with Chivas, in particular Robin and a couple more friends I censor their names for now.

Now, prior to 9.45 P.M. Do you have any idea how much cheebye pundek workload I had to do as the host or not? Calling people to confirm coming or not, last-minute changes la, friend wanna go somewhere else la, transportation la. Lanciao, I’m working on my last day of 2005. No pay somemore.

Nevermind. Eventually the show must go on. Past 9.45 P.M and I was sitting at the two tables, waiting like a good host while my female friend I brought along has a chat with National squash-player Daphe Ting (sorry if there's a spelling mistake with her name). Wah, her boobs…er, looks damn hot wei!


Lesson #1 in Event Planning: The number of tables you have reserved must be equivalent to the number of people you plan to bring along.

Two tables equals to 8-10 people. I invited 15, three of them last minute. Sie lo.

So the first three of them came on time and the rest were applying the notorious Malaysian Time on me. The last three had no where to go, and one of the three happens to be my brother. Brotherly love so they say. Ha, read on to believe that!

While waiting, I had a bottle of Tiger with one of my friends. I don’t really like beers anymore, but that’s probably the best drink I can think of to waste time. A couple (Silas and his girlfriend, as pictured) came to drop by and have a chat.

Matching couple hey?

They are to leave to Santubong (or was it Damai?) beach later for they’re doing the countdown there. Got themselves a hotel room too…but two of them and a hotel…ok, that’s enough information for now.

Finally, the Malaysian Timers came. Yea, I was beginning to get worried the tauke of SOHO would kick me out for getting two tables and yet not ordering a big bottle of liquor still. RM250 for Chivas.

This was when the fun starts.

I think that’s around 10.40 something P.M. when the fellas arrived. I so couldn’t wait to have my shot on Chivas. :)

So the bottle came, and Silas and his girl took the honours for the first to drink. I had my first drink later on. A second tiny shot came a short while later. My brother and his friends came.

Uh oh. They ordered a bottle. Tequila to be precise.

Lesson#2 in Event Planning: Always know the kind of people you invite to events.

Then something struck into my head. Where’s Robin?
(For more information on what happened to Robin, please view it here.)

Lesson#3 in Event Planning: NEVER, EVER FORGET THE PLAN. NOT EVEN A PART.

--- Make sure you are near a toilet before you proceed to read. I shall not be held responsible should you piss yourself at the end of this entry. ---

Ready? My, I like you.

I owe my brother two shots of Chivas prior to that night (for being my driver for the night).
Fine, two shots then to my liver.

Followed by a tequila pop.

And another tequila pop.

…*POP*

My body has never felt this LIGHT before.

…*POP*

Moments before....(the poser is Jason btw)

I
Was
Wasted.

Laugh out loud now.


Lesson #1 in Alcohol Consumption: Always have a full stomach before you proceed to drink.
>>> My last meal for 2005 was a vegetarian dinner. I was running at a ½ full stomach when I arrive to SOHO <<<
Lesson#2 in Alcohol Consumption: Never drink too much in a short space of time.

Lesson#3 in Alcohol Consumption: Even if you want to, getting wasted in a public place is never a good idea.

Ten minutes to 2006…and…

Apparently, I passed out.

I passed out on my brother’s friend’s leg like how a porn star would do a blowjob from the side. Vomited on his leg. Sweet.

My brother saw me. He knew what to do. Took me to the toilet in an attempt to get me recovered on time for the countdown.

No good. I’m still out.

“Time to send him home”, he thought.

I had the best compliment coming from him that night. He said “You’re fucking heavy for someone like you!” I’m only 50kg by the way. He attempts to carry me back alone, but his car was far from the pub. He tried to carry me fireman-drill style. Two cars later, he put me on the floor, hoping that I can sit down. I lie on the floor.

My muscles weren’t functioning at all. In fact, I managed to do a Yoga move on the street. Try to put your head in between your legs, with the legs on the floor.


4.45 A.M. January 1st, 2006.

I woke up, and the first question that popped out of my mind was “Why am I only with my undies and socks?”

Seconds passed…”Why am I in my own room??”

Minutes passed. “WHAT THE FUCK! I WAS WASTED!?”

KNNCCB.

30 minutes of swearing the cibais and the lanciaos followed.

I calmed myself down with some relaxing music. My hangover was killing my brain cells. As I lie on my bed, I tried to recall what really happened that night…

…I. Fucking. Don’t. Remember. ANYTHING.

ARGH!


Later on the morning, my brother brought me out for breakfast. I can’t taste my Kolok Mee. Damn hangover.

So there you go folks. Like the Cinderella story, I left the “palace” by midnight before my “beautiful dress changed into a ugly and dirty piece of cloth”.

Evidence: My Shirt.

Check out the dirt on the shirt.

And just like the Cinderella story, I lost one of my shoes. A Hush Puppies left, brown shoe.

Have you seen my shoe?

R.I.P 2002-2006. I will miss you so much!





*On the blank page, just highlight the page to find out what happen*
(Do check back in a couple of days’ time for a poem on my “wonderful” night. Especially written for me by my brother. Brotherly love indeed.)