Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A Cinderella New Year


Sorry la the launching entry is delayed. Can’t help it…I got my own life to run what.

I bet you guys had an awesome time, counting down for the New Year, drinking, laughing, fucking and such.

As for me, well, I didn’t celebrate. Not even celebrated the countdown. Hmm? What the hell is wrong with me you say? Ok la, I did celebrate la….

…sort of la.

(To skip this intro, press Ctrl-F then type “---“)

Ok, enough chatter. This was the plan. My group and I are to celebrate the New Year at SOHO, a popular pub in Kuching. I’m the host for the night, and my scheme was to get several of my friends drunk with Chivas, in particular Robin and a couple more friends I censor their names for now.

Now, prior to 9.45 P.M. Do you have any idea how much cheebye pundek workload I had to do as the host or not? Calling people to confirm coming or not, last-minute changes la, friend wanna go somewhere else la, transportation la. Lanciao, I’m working on my last day of 2005. No pay somemore.

Nevermind. Eventually the show must go on. Past 9.45 P.M and I was sitting at the two tables, waiting like a good host while my female friend I brought along has a chat with National squash-player Daphe Ting (sorry if there's a spelling mistake with her name). Wah, her boobs…er, looks damn hot wei!

Lesson #1 in Event Planning: The number of tables you have reserved must be equivalent to the number of people you plan to bring along.

Two tables equals to 8-10 people. I invited 15, three of them last minute. Sie lo.

So the first three of them came on time and the rest were applying the notorious Malaysian Time on me. The last three had no where to go, and one of the three happens to be my brother. Brotherly love so they say. Ha, read on to believe that!

While waiting, I had a bottle of Tiger with one of my friends. I don’t really like beers anymore, but that’s probably the best drink I can think of to waste time. A couple (Silas and his girlfriend, as pictured) came to drop by and have a chat.

Matching couple hey?

They are to leave to Santubong (or was it Damai?) beach later for they’re doing the countdown there. Got themselves a hotel room too…but two of them and a hotel…ok, that’s enough information for now.

Finally, the Malaysian Timers came. Yea, I was beginning to get worried the tauke of SOHO would kick me out for getting two tables and yet not ordering a big bottle of liquor still. RM250 for Chivas.

This was when the fun starts.

I think that’s around 10.40 something P.M. when the fellas arrived. I so couldn’t wait to have my shot on Chivas. :)

So the bottle came, and Silas and his girl took the honours for the first to drink. I had my first drink later on. A second tiny shot came a short while later. My brother and his friends came.

Uh oh. They ordered a bottle. Tequila to be precise.

Lesson#2 in Event Planning: Always know the kind of people you invite to events.

Then something struck into my head. Where’s Robin?
(For more information on what happened to Robin, please view it here.)


--- Make sure you are near a toilet before you proceed to read. I shall not be held responsible should you piss yourself at the end of this entry. ---

Ready? My, I like you.

I owe my brother two shots of Chivas prior to that night (for being my driver for the night).
Fine, two shots then to my liver.

Followed by a tequila pop.

And another tequila pop.


My body has never felt this LIGHT before.


Moments before....(the poser is Jason btw)


Laugh out loud now.

Lesson #1 in Alcohol Consumption: Always have a full stomach before you proceed to drink.
>>> My last meal for 2005 was a vegetarian dinner. I was running at a ½ full stomach when I arrive to SOHO <<<
Lesson#2 in Alcohol Consumption: Never drink too much in a short space of time.

Lesson#3 in Alcohol Consumption: Even if you want to, getting wasted in a public place is never a good idea.

Ten minutes to 2006…and…

Apparently, I passed out.

I passed out on my brother’s friend’s leg like how a porn star would do a blowjob from the side. Vomited on his leg. Sweet.

My brother saw me. He knew what to do. Took me to the toilet in an attempt to get me recovered on time for the countdown.

No good. I’m still out.

“Time to send him home”, he thought.

I had the best compliment coming from him that night. He said “You’re fucking heavy for someone like you!” I’m only 50kg by the way. He attempts to carry me back alone, but his car was far from the pub. He tried to carry me fireman-drill style. Two cars later, he put me on the floor, hoping that I can sit down. I lie on the floor.

My muscles weren’t functioning at all. In fact, I managed to do a Yoga move on the street. Try to put your head in between your legs, with the legs on the floor.

4.45 A.M. January 1st, 2006.

I woke up, and the first question that popped out of my mind was “Why am I only with my undies and socks?”

Seconds passed…”Why am I in my own room??”

Minutes passed. “WHAT THE FUCK! I WAS WASTED!?”


30 minutes of swearing the cibais and the lanciaos followed.

I calmed myself down with some relaxing music. My hangover was killing my brain cells. As I lie on my bed, I tried to recall what really happened that night…

…I. Fucking. Don’t. Remember. ANYTHING.


Later on the morning, my brother brought me out for breakfast. I can’t taste my Kolok Mee. Damn hangover.

So there you go folks. Like the Cinderella story, I left the “palace” by midnight before my “beautiful dress changed into a ugly and dirty piece of cloth”.

Evidence: My Shirt.

Check out the dirt on the shirt.

And just like the Cinderella story, I lost one of my shoes. A Hush Puppies left, brown shoe.

Have you seen my shoe?

R.I.P 2002-2006. I will miss you so much!

*On the blank page, just highlight the page to find out what happen*
(Do check back in a couple of days’ time for a poem on my “wonderful” night. Especially written for me by my brother. Brotherly love indeed.)


Daniel Tan said...

Never been wasted that way... wouldn't mind experiencing it one day tho. Glad you still had your undies on. LOL!

robin said...

LOL, cool night to look back at, dun ya think so??
lets make sure next year it shall be a better one, and you have a "proper countdown" ya??

Chris said...

Hehehe ...
Cinderella Mike!

My brother the hero. Got knocked out before midnight. Even cinderella lasted till midnight you know.

Oh yes. Is there a reward for the person who comes up with the missing shoe ?

Sigmoid said...

Yea Mike... try to stay awake next countdown. Pity ya. Oh well... I will help you post for ya missing shoe. Who knows, your prince charming... errr... i mean... dream princess might turn up with your shoe!

Oh... just hope there's no fake or you will be doomed with the ending, and they lived happily ever after. Muah ha ha ha ha!

May said...

Heyz Mikey~!! Happy New Year~!!! ROFL your reaction when you woke up would be priceless =0P But yeah, drink sensibly next time~! Hope you find your missing shoe too =\ All the best this year! =0D

Anonymous said...

LoL... You Rock, Mike.. LoL